"Drink from the well of yourself and begin again" - Charles Bukowski
Its that time of year when once again it's time to leave Goa and delve into the unknown. Last summer took me from Thailand to Lombok, to Bali, back to Thailand and then to Morocco and it’s fair to say it was full on, travelling and working in so many places. Over the last couple of years I’ve come to realise i’m a hopeless nomad … I did my backpacking in my 20’s and now living for 6 months out of a 15kg backpack has limited appeal, its even more unappealing now that Oscar has decided to use it as a litter tray!!!
So this year, I’m doing something different but equally full on … I’m going to live in Ibiza (a place i’ve never been) with a wonderful man i’ve know for just 3 months. A man who lives in a beautiful but teeny light house where we’ll be living literally on top of each other all summer.
I’m so excited but then sometimes, like many of us, I have these moments of panic … “This isn’t like me, I never move this quickly” I say to myself over and over, worrying ‘what if …’ and wondering if I’ll even like it there. On and on I go, trying to second guess the future and predict the course of the next few months. It hinders me in making decisions, worries me at night and makes me chew my nails (a habit I only kicked last year goddammnit!).
So now I make the decision to stop this pattern ... here is where I choose to begin again.
Starting right now I will begin to systematically strip away the old patterns and thoughts that no longer serve me, those fears and self-doubts that creep in when we journey into the unknown. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen over night but each and every moment is a divine opportunity to begin again. I will learn to follow my intuition, trust that my heart knows what’s right. I will accept the risk of being hurt, I will allow myself to be vulnerable, and will do my best to trust despite and because of all of these things.
Each moment we have a choice. We can either follow our same patterns because they are safe even if they are not serving us. Or … we can change something … sometimes even the smallest thing. In each moment we have the incredible opportunity to move forward, towards being our authentic selves without the doubt we inflict upon ourselves.
So starting right now, lets make a pact to own each and every moment. Understand how much potential is harnessed in just one second of your wonderful life. Seize the opportunity to grow, seize the opportunity to let go, seize the opportunity to be authentically you, the you without all the stories and the self imposed limitations. Do you know how lucky you are to have this moment? This opportunity? How awesome is that!!!
Begin again xxx